Pet euthanasia & cremation

I've been looking for euthanasia and individual cremation where I get my baby's ashes back. Captain Jack is 18.5 years old and I've had him half my life. I can't be without my baby. I have to try to find a way to get his cremains back so I can always have him with me. I'm disabled, homeless and trying to get back on my feet. I can't pay the prices listed at the humane society. Does anyone know of any resources for homeless pet owners, low-income prices, payment plans, or any organizations that can help? Edit #1: I'd added my IG at some point, somewhere but this is where I am now - @13xMelissa and I might make a new reddit account. Final Edit: Today is 05/01/2026 My baby crossed the rainbow bridge in August 21st, 2025. I was recovering from a rough surgery with complications, and as soon as I was doing somewhat better it happened. Jack ended up in status epilepticus, we got to the vet right away and I had the support of my parents in the room loving on him too while the vet gave him the shot and he passed with people who loved him. I'm still sober. It's day 567. In my heart, I know Jack stayed as long as he could until I was ok. I left my abusive ex husband of 1 week shy of 20 years. I'd been secretly making plans for months with my therapist and case manager, planning out shelters to go to and calling thr domestic violence hotline. But the day came, I almost got into a physical fight with a drug dealer twice in 72 hours when I chased him off. I'd found out my ex was smoking fent. 6 months sober - I found a pill. It was the most trying day of my sobriety holding my D.O.C. in my hand, I found foil, he was sloppy. He was angry, erratic, apathetic, and abusive towards me and I'd just take it. But when he stepped towards Jack,